Being real

Well this week could be a deciding week for travel.  If we receive our TA(travel approval) this week, there's a good chance of us leaving very soon.  If we don't receive TA this week, I may cry, just being real.  That would mean we would be traveling mid February.  That may not sound like a huge deal.  And in the big scheme of things, probably not a big deal.   

But, if I'm being real, I don't want to miss any more of his life.  I don't want to miss any more of his milestones, any more holidays, any more smiles, any tantrums.  Yes, I'll take the tantrums!  Selfish, yes, but we have four children and one is not here.  This is much harder than I thought it could be.  Yes, it is possible to love a child you have  never met.   A child who has no idea that in a month or so, his world will be rocked.  He has no idea about the amount of love that is already poured out for him.  He has no idea about the amount of "crazy" he's about to encounter (we have 3 preteens in this house!)

Insert sample of "crazy".  This was a simple ride home from school.  Good grief

 I guess what it all boils down to, I'm ready to get this thing going.  I'm ready to start our journey as a family of six.  I'm ready to pack diaper bags and head to the ball field for baseball this summer.  I'm ready to drink more coffee (as if it's humanly possible) after a night of no sleep.  I'm ready to hold him as he works through the unknowns and fears of this new world.   

There may be are a few things I may not be so ready for. 

Get on that plane:  So not ready for that part.  Terrified.  Medication? Yes please.
Leaving A,R,& C at home:  That's a tough one.  Totally confident and extremely grateful for the village that has stepped up for us while we will be away, but...
Chinese Food:  Ok, it sounds childish, but real.  I don't like Chinese food.   Adam is thrilled about the food. Me, not so much.  Power Bars?
Get on that plane:  It gets two spots on this list.

School starts again tomorrow after a very restful break.
Between school and activities and Adam traveling for work, the next few weeks will be very busy.  However, I  really hope that I get to add something else to the "To do" list.
Pack for China. 

We are ready to add another fantastic kid to this wild bunch